It's been too long, my baby
by Wing of the Pheonix
Summary: Since you've been gone I've been singing this stupid song So I could ponder The sanity of your mother Birchfall finds her son mauled by something unknown to the clans. Insanity takes over, and she decides to avenge him, Hootkit. (I do not own Warriors)
1. Chapter 1

_I dunno what I was thinking,_  
_Leaving my child behind,_  
_Now I suffer the curse and now I am blind_

_With all this anger, guilt and sadness,_  
_Coming to haunt me forever,_  
_I can't wait for the cliff at the end of the river,_

_Is this revenge I am seeking,_  
_Or seeking someone to avenge me_  
_Stuck in my own paradox I wanna set myself free_

_Maybe I should chase and find_  
_before they'll try to stop it_  
_It won't be long before I'll become a puppet_

_It's been so long,_  
_Since I last have seen my son_  
_lost to this monster_  
_to the man behind the slaughter_

_Since you've been gone_  
_I've been singing this stupid song_  
_So I could ponder_  
_The sanity of your mother_

_I wish I lived in the present_  
_With the gift of my past mistakes_  
_But the future keeps luring in like a pack of snakes_

_Your sweet little eyes, your little smile, _  
_is all I remember_  
_Those fuzzy memories mess with my temper_

_Justification is killing me_  
_But killing isn't justified_  
_What happened to my son, I'm terrified_

_It lingers in my mind and the thought keeps on getting bigger,_  
_I'm sorry my sweet baby, I wish I've been there._

_It's been so long,_  
_Since I last have seen my son_  
_lost to this monster_  
_to the man behind the slaughter_

_Since you've been gone_  
_I've been singing this stupid song_  
_So I could ponder_  
_The sanity of your mother_

**_LYRICS BELONG TO THE LIVING TOMBSTONE!_**


	2. You promise?

"You've got to promise me you'll watch Hootkit."

I watched my mate shift slightly in the nest he'd taken over. "I will! I just so happen to be a kit-sitting expert." He teased.

I snorted in doubt.

"I'm sure that involves sitting on the kits so they don't happen to escape." I jeered, tail flicking. "Now, promise me you'll watch him, and not fall asleep as you did when you were supposed to watch Stonekit and Poppykit." I meowed, eyes narrowing.

He shifted awkwardly once more before sighing, and agreeing.

"I promise, he'll be in camp or in the nursery when you return." He responded firmly, voice not quavering or pitch lowering as it did when he was afraid he'd break the promise.

"Alright then, Spiderfoot is awaiting my return. I'll see you when I see you." I murmured, before I set off with the patrol.

"Birchfang! I let you come out with us as a favor, I thought you'd be more useful, but clearly I was wrong. Next time someone asks you on a patrol turn it down or make sure you're not obsessing over a kit." Spiderfoot snapped, eyes ablaze.

"S-Sorry." I muttered, eyes narrowed.

As I spoke, a howl of pain rippled through the atmosphere. A cry as horrifying as a crow's, so loud and filled with dread. How did that remind me of my happy-go-skippy Son's delighted squeals. A well muscled shape bumped me roughly.

"That cry is amazing, isn't it? Turned your chances of finding prey to ash n' crow-food. Better luck next time, _Queen_." A warrior, Redtail chuckled bitterly, but that's something to expect from a annoyed, socially isolated Shadowclan warrior.

"Don't listen to her."

My close-friend Rosewhisker was jogging to catch up to me.

"What if that was Hootkit." I fretted, beginning to hyper-ventilate.

Rosewhisker shook her head.

"Tigerpelt is watching him, he's probably in camp, chasing a moth." She sympathized.

Redtail snorted, slowing down to chat with her older sister.

"You're talking about _Tigerpelt_?" She jeered, eyes fixed directly on me.

"Yep." Rosewhisker responded for me, popping the _P_.

She laughed, amusement slithering in her howls of glee.

"I thought you were talking about Wolfclaw." She meowed, sprinting to catch up to her mate, Spiderfoot.

Once in camp, I rushed to the squatted bush, the nursery, and slithered inside.

It seemed okay, but something was missing.

A little kitten, I like to call my own.

Hootkit.

I hurried out of camp, gaze roaming wildly around the peaceful clearing empty, but the hunting patrol who were quietly chatting by the fresh-kill pile, or choosing their prey.

The long-legged tabby tom was no where in sight, gone. Not even swatting at a moth, as Rosewhisker predicted he'd be doing.

"Hootkit!" I wailed.

No Hootkit, only the terrified, and agitated stares of warriors and elders alike.

"He's gone." I whispered, dashing from camp, ignoring the questioning stares.

I petaled forward, my aching paws yowling; "_Stop, stop! It hurts so much, please! Just give us a few licks and then rest!"._

But, no.

I continued, tears welling in my eyes from the siring, nagging pain and the fact that my Son was missing.

I looked past the trees, the rotted, musky trees. But there was no sound of movement, just the squeaky howls of the wind. Before I realized it, I was crawling through thick mud, legs crusty with muck.

Then, I heard churning in some sort of gravel.

I pushed some reeds apart to see a gruesome sight.

Crimson rolled over the shards, minuscule stones. A small pale brown and tabby stripe body churned in them, whining quietly. "Hootkit!"

I hurried to his side, paw-pads slitting open on some of the sharper stones.

"What happened?"

No responce just frantic breathing.

"I-I don't remember.. I can remember Dad told me about this brave kitten who went off to kill a dog, and when he came back to camp, he got to be a leader!" He sputtered, his small body falling more still by the heart-beat. "When was this?"

He coughed quietly.

"I was just waking up from my nap, and I was gonna play with you! But, I saw daddy was there, hardly awake, and so I started batting at his tail!"

I shook my head.

"I just wanted to make him proud, he tells me you guys don't love me. And so I set out to get the dog."

"He sent you to your death." I whispered, pressing my nose to the last unbloodied patch of fur on his body.

"I'm so sorry I left you with that fool, Hootkit."

Hootkit's body stirred beside my muzzle, he greeted me with a smile and happy eyes.

"I'm sorry you did too, Mommy. I love you, a lot." He whispered, eyes slowly closing.

"I love you too, my sweet. You have fun in Starclan and tell Grandcat Ferntail that I miss her more everyday." I sob.

"Don't be sad, Mom. It's okay, I'll be okay." His final breaths, struggled rattles.

"I'm terrified."


End file.
